While I’m waiting for my next contract to start, I have been keeping myself busy with a lot of things. Bringing and fetching my daughter to school, writing a book, boxing, playing video games, investing time on my coaching practice and most recently, joining an orchestra.
I’m not sure if I have told you before, my dream job is to become a rock star. It has always been that. Well, I dreamt of becoming a pilot and an astronaut but I have given up on it due to financial and opportunity constraints.
One night after rehearsing with the orchestra, I told my wife that I was happy and I don’t know why. I was really looking for reasons, but I can’t find any. It’s unexplainable but I haven’t felt that way for a long time. I realized that it has been a while, 15 years to be precise since I played in a setting like that. Reading notes, listening and following a conductor and all the usual things you need to do to play in an ensemble. I used to play the clarinet back then by the way.
After thinking long and hard, being mindful and present, I finally found the reason. I was happy because I really love playing music and it was great to rekindle my relationship with it anytime, anywhere. It’s a bit shallow, but I am happy finding out that music indeed makes me happy.
What’s my point? Most of the time we don’t really know what makes us happy. It is because we always tell ourselves, “I will be happy when…”. I will be happy when I have a million dollars in the bank, I will be happy when I have the best partner, I will be happy when I get promoted only to find out that when we actually do find and meet that condition of happiness, we have to replace it with a bigger and bolder conditions to be happy. We do not even cherish and celebrate it. We become trapped in this never-ending cycle.
Finding out what makes you happy is your own journey. No one can tell you what will make you happy, you have to feel it, accept it, cherish it and practice it.
What makes you happy? What’s the sound of your music?